Get in the habit of engaging in playful conversation with strange women, rather than approaching them and asking them out. The last few times I struck up a non-threatening convo are decent examples. One babe was inside the subway, with a small grocery bag. Rather than ask for a phone number, I said, “That doesn’t look like enough to make dinner for two, so we’ll have to eat out.” In a similar situation, I also used the circumstance as an opener. I spotted an attractive, but bright looking young lady was waiting for a bus across the street from my house as I walked outside. Instead of asking where she was from, or anything personal, I noticed she began eating with a spoon from a little plastic tub (Tupperware-ish) of the type people bring their lunch to work in.
“Someone should invent a portable microwave, so we can eat anywhere we are,” I said smiling. She giggled in agreement.
“The only thing is,” I added, “that would be one more device we’d have to carry, with our phones, computers and t.v.’s,” Now that we were just talking, and she not threatened, I could choose when to escalate to the personal stuff (if at all- sometimes you should just use these moments to keep your game fast and loose- so you become naturally relaxed in nightclub or happy hour situations).
Poke lighthearted fun at some current event, (celeb not political- you don’t know her well enough to know where she leans), item on her person, or the book she’s reading. If you encounter her in a movie line or restaurant waiting area, make a sarcastic remark about time or patience.
Banter establishes that you’re fun enough to be with that she should consider giving you the digits. In a sense it’s a sneak preview to what you’re like on a date (for lack of a better word- I don’t advocate trying to make dates, but that’s for another post). Beats the hell out of offering to buy her a drink, or opening with flattery, neither of which separate you from the crowd, or spell “cool to be with”.
Keep it light, and keep it tight.