Five Steps to Changing Your Inner Dialogue About Beautiful Women

If you have the will to meet hot babes, there is a way. If it means as much to you as it did me, you will overcome your specific challenges and become PullJoy. Only then will your life be complete, if you are as interested in pulchritudinous female company as I am. With that missing piece, every time you see a gorgeous girl and feel tongue-tied, intimidated, or unsure, a part of you will die. I decided virtually overnight not to let approach anxiety or rejection concerns rule my life. Still, it was years before I ceased viewing beautiful women as conquests, prizes, or prey, rather than individuals who could enjoy my company once I became a magnetic, well-versed person to be around. Here are five steps you can take to get there.


None of us know how long we have here on earth, or even how much of our lives will be lived in optimum health. We are fortunate to live in an industrialized nation with educational opportunities, varied means of transit, plenty of desirable women, and the means and written material to learn about them. We also live in an era when women have fewer qualms about single life, contraception, and sexual pleasure than their grandmothers did. It is us who must change. Your time is worth something. Your dreams are valid. Men of discerning taste are selective in which women they approach, and suffer no sense of inferiority in the process. You need to get  here- “I am a fun and happy guy, let’s see if that girl can appreciate that.” Rather than taking all day to meet her (her time is valuable too), create a bond with humor and depth, and ask how you can meet or continue the conversation later.


Treat toddlers, wait staff, cabbies, sales clerks and elderly women with packages with the same charm, courtliness and chivalry, and you will undergo an internal change that is visible. Perhaps you were born this way. If not, don’t hate, and don’t be angry at life. Find the beauty in nature, sunsets, and music, and live a life founded upon appreciation. Beautfitul women play a role, but in perspective. Your interactions with hotties will be much different if you don’t have to “turn on” a persona when they suddenly cross your path.


Study as much as you can about women, the way they think and are socialized, and how magazines, institutions and cosmetics are marketed towards them. You should know enough about female sexuality and physiology to be a pleasing, patient lover, and enough about the pysche of the individual to whom you are speed bonding to figure her emotional buttons. Chick flicks, women’s mags, t.v. and radio talk shows, conversations with women to whom you are not as sexually attracted are means of coming by new knowledge. For personal PullJoy consultation by e-mail, contact me at, where I also schedule private consutations with clients in the Greater Washington, D.C. area (and requests to be added to the address list for my free e-mail newsletter, PullJoy: The Seduction Newsletter. Knowledge is power.


Again, if you’re in D.C., I can give you some style tips after having met you, based on your stature, build, hair texture and complexion. Others should consult men’s mags, where tips and articles about the proper look and gear for various types abound. There are probably good “lists” and “do’s, don’ts” on the Internet as well. Once your inner mack is different, your packaging must evolve too- even if you’re only 20 and in college or trade school, you never know when that traffic stopper is gonna walk into the coffee shop or pull up in the mall. Clothes are a statement, an extension of the self, a way of communicating, “I’m confident. I’m different.” They’re an outer form of social capital- never wear standard 9-to-5 office duds to a nightclub. And you guys know most babes appreciate a dude who works out. As for your hair, a good barber or stylist can give you some ideas, but go in with a feel for what realistically would work for you. Remember the old dugout chatter to a batting teammate, “Have an idea out there!”


Once you begin developing game, work it. Step to honies even under circumstances where you won’t ask for the digits, and engage them in pleasant, meaningful conversation. The way to de-mystify women is to meet a lot and greet a lot. You’ll remove any notions that either

A) all hot babes are conceited

B) all beautiful women are spoken for

C) women are less interested in sex than we


D) all great looking women are worth knowing

…None of the above is an absolute, a lot of the obstacles in our lives are self-created. Have fun, be playful with pretty girls, it shows them you’re relaxed, and cool to be around. Banter with them as you would a sister, or former high school or college classmate- the difference being, after she say or does something to gain your approval (be it laugh at what you say, behave receptively to a touch test, or say something profound), it dawns on you that she’s alright- you like her. It was you who had to be won over. Can we take this somewhere quieter, or pick up from here later….?

If you stumbled upon her in a crowd, a rushed setting, busy, or an environment where it would be tricky to display social capital (status, ambition, amiable treatment of you by others, separation from the mass of males she encounters), you should still make her acquaintance and learn her name, if only to keep the juices flowing and add to to number of beautiful women about which you at least could greet them from memory if your paths crossed again.

Follow these dictates, and you will lead a life of celebration, not quiet desperation. I’m having a blast.



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