Got the right chemistry to pull the hottest of the hot? Ever hear of oxytocin? Read on. Oxytocin is the major stress reducing hormone transmitted in the female brain. Women need oxytocin to feel happy, and relaxed. What triggers an oxytocin rush in babes? Helping others, bonding, being or feeling romantic, or being listened to while they talk out their problems. Men are different- we handle stress by either vegging out, doing what we want, or doing things for ourselves.
When women read romance novels, it releases oxytocin. So we know that humor (because it relieves stress), bonding, or sexual escape (see “novel, romance”, or “funny, sexy, confident new guy”) is a destresser for the ladies. What are you gonna do it about it bucko?
To produce oxytocin, women need another neurotransmitter called serotonin turned on. According to Dr. John Gray (“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”), one manner of triggering this happy feeling is allowing women to discuss their concerns without (the male) doing anything, fixing anything or changing anything. That’s counterintuitive for us guys- girl cites issue, guy suggests solution. Let her vent or reveal. It’s how women bond with one another (listen to women talk sometimes, about family, work, or guys). Guess what? Oxytocin must be released for a woman to experience an orgasm- something 34% of American women say they never do. Stress = unfulfilling sex. Unlike us, they can’t even get in the mood.
Be PullJoy, and learn the characteristics of speed bonding that potentially lead to a sexual connection (my three “dates” worth of bonding in one night method). Ask her deep questions about herself (e.g.-“… if you came into $10 million dollars tomorrow, what would you do?” or “…if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you like to live?”). Listen to her needs and concerns, even though you just met. Be funny (it took me forever to appreciate how important this is as a calming influence- it’s a wonder I got laid at all with my poker face back in the day- but I did, ’cause I stepped to a lot of honies, and I was cute) and romantic, to reduce the stress of the college or workday world. This is the path to panties, Mr. PullJoy.
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