Thoughts For The Day

A couple of things occurred to me last night. One was that guys should watch “The Bachelorette”. Even though pickup is your aspiration, this ABC “reality” series may provide some perspective on why women find certain men, in 15-minute dating situations, more attractive than others. Talk about Speed Bonding. We don’t watch enough chick flicks, read enough chick lit, or read women’s mags. Yet we claim we want to better undertsand the opposite sex. The box office digits show only a few of you have even bothered to go see  “Sex And The City”. Anything a beautiful woman tells me about attraction, whether she is an NFL cheerleader, dating expert, platonic friend, or personal trainer, I’m all ears.

The other thought was, I’ve always admired guys who knew how to get in where they fit in. The Real Assanova ( often speaks of stepping to women who will realistically choose you. In the memoir, The Haygoods of Columbus, author Wil Haygood made his junior high school, high school, and Miami of Ohio basketball teams by insisting on another tryout after he had been cut. Just as importantly, in high school, he transferred completely out of the Columbus Public School System to find a team where he could make varsity and actually get minutes. That took a lot of research and initiative (not to mention bus rides). Maybe it’s a Colmubus thing- The Real Assanova’s from there. But no- one of my best friends since I was about 20, told me he selected his high school because he had read in the back of Sports Illustrated they hadn’t won a basketball game in three years- and he knew he could play there. He lettered.

My point, of course, is, pursue beautiful women, by all means, but the ones who like you. High school basketball (or law school, or a fraternity) is a beautiful experience- if you’re accepted for who you are. Life is too short to waste one’s energy on conflicted, mean-spirited, or unapproachable women. Nor should you try to convert babes for whom you are not their cup of tea. There are millions of available, cute, bright women who would like you once acquainted. Let their laughter, their common interests, and the spark for intimacy be your guide.

I should note here that my review of Jennifer Kelton`s book Dont Use My Sweater Like a Towel was named to Sugasm`s list of blogposts of the week at



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