How to Overcome Approach Anxiety

How does one get beyond the feeling that meeting beautiful women creates pressure, that you’re bothering them, or the fear of rejection? Here are some things I didn’t appreciate in my mid-twenties, even though I had accumulated about 150 phone numbers.

It’s All About Fun

Don’t look at is at trying to meet new women, you’re out enjoying life, having a blast (like a comedian doing stand up, or a “man-on-the-street” reporter for a late night show or webcast)- and there she was! You’re not in a contest, you’re not failing if you walk away without digits. The more beautiful women you meet, the less you’ll care what happens with new ones. Get out and meet people all the time, stay positive, and when you see a pretty girl, make a humorous observation that you could have as easily made to a dude.

Stack The Cards In Your Favor

Get that PullJoy© wardrobe together, and you’ll expect women to be attracted to you. Dress for success. Work out three times a week. Some of you would not believe what a difference this will make when you break the ice. A beautiful girl sees a guy who takes care of himself as a confident individual, who is probably fun. Who doesn’t like meeting fun people?

Talk to Girls Who Like You

See a little eye contact when you occasionally glance over? Has she giggled much since you began chatting her up? Is she asking questions about you? There’s a spark there- these are the girls you pursue. It’s still all about fun, but opportunities are better when the feeling is mutual. Now you can relax, and be both funny and brief- ask for her number so you can hang out sometime- if not later that night.

Be an Interesting Conversationalist

A man of the world knows something of art, culture, fashion, and music. The world doesn’t revolve around team professional team sports and video games. If you have art openings or documentary screenings that you know about through memberships, listservs, or the event sections of your favorite alternative newspaper, you already have places to hang out after you meet a new girl. If you can chat easily about what you’ve read, seen, visited, or about human nature and psychology in general, conversation will flow. A little knowledge about such things will help should you decide to invite her to listen to a new CD, playfully read her palm or body language, or check out a gallery. It’s more difficult to turn down a man with a plan, particularly a plan that’s a departure from the standard “dinner and/or a movie” idea.

Changing your entire attitude about meeting beautiful women, giving yourself some advantages, assessing signs of interest, and being a “person of interest” (the kind pretty women are looking for, not the cops) will eliminate reservations about pickup. For e-mail or private consulation contact me at



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