Conquer Approach Anxiety: How to Become Comfortable With Women

Intimidated, or at least a little nervous around beautiful women? Have I got a cure for you. Next time you’re at a happy hour bar, conference, or in an airport where a few women or girlfriends are gathered, introduce yourself and start a conversation. The initial chat and banter may be about how they know each other, drinking games, or what’s on the t.v. screen above the bar. Just talk about the differences between men and women, a musical trend, a city one of them has lived in, sibling dynamics- anything. Not to come away with a phone number, but to pass the time, because you’re there. In this manner, you’ll learn a lot about what women think of other women, why they choose their girlfriends, how easy they are to meet and converse with, and how amusing you can be. When you do this as a matter of course, approaching one pretty girl by herself, or an attractive group becomes routine.

When I’m out, and three or four ladies who work together or have known one another for a while are seated together, I become the only guy in the conversation. They already know one another, and have little new to learn or tell amongst themselves, so they enjoy this. It also provides a little insight into the male psyche, even if (and often especially if) one or more is married. Married women are just as friendly to a charming guy in a club or hotel as anyone, and often even more chill because there’s nothing at stake. When you learn to make friends fast this way, you’ll think of babes as less of a challenge or rejection threat. People are very comfortable and sociable when surrounded by their own friends or sisters.

Always remember the names of each group member, talk to everyone equally, regardless of who you think looks the best, and ask opinions. Any male characteristic you have observed- that little boys can bond by playing with trucks and not saying a word (which carries over somewhat into cars and adulthood), which gender has an easier time of fighting and making up with a friend of the same gender, how uncommunicative men can be when they arrive home from work- as long as you’re not mysoginistic or bigoted you’ll get ’em going. Chances are, the talkers in the group will begin discussing their perceptions of women, and perhaps men. It’s all in fun- there are other topics, my point is you should be meeting women all the time. They feel safer in groups. Lose that approach anxiety by using their safety in numbers to your advantage. Women don’t bite, not even those who aren’t out looking to meet new guys.

Live The Dream,

ST

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