Here’s a guest post from author Jennifer Kelton (Don’t Use My Sweater Like a Towel):
What’s a Girl to do with a Secret Crush?
Not to be cocky.
However… I’ve, always gotten the guy!
Going back to my first summer love – I was twelve years old.
Today, while running through my neighborhood, I was thinking about my secret crush
(I admit, I think about him way too much).
And as I listened to my newest downloaded music from iTunes (The Offspring and Sister Hazel), in the heat of the unusually hot Southern California summer sun, just some of my local hookup’s and or love-life history, flashed through my mind, as I dripped sweat in the beach alley way.
I’m not going to be bashful – but from what I can remember this is just how many men I have ‘been’ with in my neighborhood, over a twenty-five year period.
Ok, hold onto your newly purchased and painfully trendy fedora hat! – Brad, Greg, I can’t remember his name guy, Peter, Dan, another I can’t remember his name guy, Bobby, Todd, Anthony, Rudy, Jesus, Brian, Room 104 guy, Chris, plus a few more…well maybe more than just a few…
Did I mention this was just within a ten mile radius of where I live…
What exactly does this have to do with a secret crush?
Because I have a secret crush, on a cute, smart and artistic guy that lives in my neighborhood.
And I’m fighting it every step of the way. It’s rare!
To the point where I’m writing this at a local spot that I know I will not see him.
Mostly since last night he never showed up where I usually see him, and I had thoughts of him on a date – not with me, but with another woman.
NOT my MO!
This is a very unique situation for me – honestly, I can’t remember the last time that I had a crush – it has always been mutual and gone without question, or straight to the bedroom.
Hey, just look at my history. (The little that you have just read here).
Funny thing is, I didn’t like him at all when we first met, and now every time I see him I’m thinking about what it would be like to kiss him, or what he looks like naked.
I found myself last week checking out his nether region, has my secret crush also turned me into a pervert? I can’t remember the last time that I checked out a man’s CROTCH!
Also last week my secret crush sat down next to me – I was not sure to be happy, or to make a mad dash out the front door. Truly he makes me nervous, RARELY- if ever does this happen.
Today on my way home I decided to stop at our local hang-out, he was there!
I did everything in my power to avoid eye contact with him, and talked with the other guys at the bar. I eventually made my way to the end where he was sitting and we talked a bit, he mentioned that he was moving back to Northern California, I think my heart sank.
Feeling brave, and with nothing to lose, since he’s moving, (I’m not into having a long distance relationship), I figured that I would tell him, “I have a crush on you.”
And so I did, my heart was racing, and like a nine year old little girl, I went straight out the front door – not waiting for any kind of response from my secret crush guy.
My ex-boyfriend called me when I got home, I told him my, crush story, and asked him if a girl has ever told him that, “she has a crush on him” – he said; “yes and that, he was flattered in the past when it did.”
I’m hoping that’s the case with my own crush, and if nothing else – I would love to give him a farewell kiss before he leaves town.
So that’s what I did with my secret crush, and even if I feel embarrassed and like a nine year old kid, I’m glad I let him know.
(thanks again Jennifer- ST)