Guest blogger Eros weighs in on social confidence:
How to Approach Women – Social Confidence
So, what is social proofing? Social proofing, in its basic sense, is being
accepted and/or liked socially by either a particular group of people, or
This is important, particularly when you
approach a girl or are approaching sets of two or more women. The way
social proofing works in theory is that, in most cases, being liked by
your targets friends, or strangers who may be influential, will increase
the likelihood your target will be attracted to you.
When you have displayed high social status she will believe that you are
popular and is more willing to give you a try. The way this essentially
works is that your target will feel that she can raise her status through
being in your company, which will make her feel better about herself,
associating those good feelings with you. This, of course, works to your
benefit. It’s easy to see when you have social proofing. Firstly, you will
know that you are popular through talking to a lot of people, or talking
to the high status people. People will be naturally drawn to you with
their body language and will often even approach you themselves, leaving
you having to do very little. This is why social proofing is such a
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how you can achieve this. How can you get
people to approach you? Well, the easiest way to do this is to behave like
you own the place, or environment you are in. I don’t mean you should pull
out your check book, walk up to the bar and demand to speak to the
proprietor with an offer. I mean you should act like you own the place.
Walk in the front and say to yourself “This is my house!” Claim ownership.
An extension of this is to go around asking everyone in the place, male or
female, attractive or not, if they’re having a good night, as the owner
would ask. Even if people don’t wonder if you’re the owner or not, they
will still wonder who you are.
Talk to a lot of people. Be social and create a positive atmosphere for
everyone. However, when you know you’re going to make an approach, things
can get a bit more specific. To have social proofing within a specific
group, approach the group leader, or the male. Work your way around the
group, taking the time to speak to all of them, so that everyone likes
At first, your target will assume you know someone in the group, which
will immediately lower their guard. Even if they find out you don’t know
anyone in the group, they will have seen that you made an immediate
impression on everyone else and you will have social proofing. From there,
your target’s friends will actually help you. She will be looking to her
friends to find out if you are really a cool guy. If they think you are,
they will encourage her to hook up with you.
As you can see, social proofing is a valuable thing to have, so work on
getting this handled and you will see results.