You know guys, every so often I play back my old interactions with babes, as a football coach would review old game vids. Of course I don’t have the imagery or play-by-play, but some things one never forgets. Growth in what many of you call “game”, makes it only natural to look back. It’s instructive, though progress is only achieved by putting trial and error behind and moving forward. I emphasize that all women are individuals, and no “rules” apply, but I now appreciate why I wasn’t as sexy as I could have been with certain babes I really dug. On the positive side, even when I was green, I can point to incidents when I pulled. One marked difference was my attitude.
Here’s something to remember. In terms of your overall attitude, you should not be thinking of what you’re saying and doing, you should react to the situation at hand. Be that engaging, interesting guy in the spot, joking with bar staff, chatting up groups by pointing out humorous things about the crowd, band, service, or oddball news story (not political ones, for obvious reasons). The fact you attract people by exuding a love of life, is inexorable, and a no brainer. That leaves plenty of focus for what you should be more laserlike about, which is what the woman you’re attracted to dreams about, plans, or is passionate about. Walk in with the PullJoy© air of confidence, an inner strength that’s a babe magnet.
Call it alpha if you must, just be sure your body language, approach tempo, and eye contact say “assured”. If that’s tough for you to come by, remember when you were a little kid? You could get into role, pretending you were a pro quarterback, policeman, or Batman as the situation called for. In public day or night, appreciate the finer things in life, and cultivate your interests such that they come natural to discuss with others. When you’re out and about, be that little boy again, only now, pretend you’re (what babes) consider a hot male actor everyone would turn their attention to. Come up with your own idea of who that might be, but whoever it is now, or to you or your demographic, act as if you were he. Be as conscious of others’ attention as a celeb would be.
That gets you in a state of mind that frees you up to not be concerned with your height, voice, or other dudes, and allows you to really hear what a group is talking about and why. You’ll be able to read between the lines when a girl you engage answers:
“If you could live anywhere, money not an issue, where would you live?”
“If you came into enough bank to quit your job tomorrow, what would you do with your life?”
“What’s the most spontaneous thing you ever did?
Those answers will tell you where she’s coming from, and a whole lot more about what makes girlfriend tick, than the standard, “Where do you work?”, or “Come here much?”. She’ll appreciate the personal nature of your attentiveness (notice small items such as jewelry and accessories, if she’s especially toned, ask what sport she played in high school).
Where I’m going with this is when a connection has been established, once she can see you’re not every other guy with every other convo, boldness pays off. Here’s why: When you demonstrate you’ve got a set, and aren’t intimidated by beauty (even if inside, you really still are somewhat), that’s sexual, and it speaks to a woman’s need for fantasy and escape. Anybody can discuss work, she just left work four hours ago. Not every man can mentally take her away from it all, can ask deep, caring questions of a stranger. Not every bloke notices unique bracelets or funky bags. Her perso-nality.
Looking back, almost every time I’ve been succesful with what I now term speed seduction, I went out on a limb. Even when I didn’t know jack about women, I threw caution to the wind, made an assertive move. That satisfies the “romance novel”, “element of surprise”, “something different happened tonight” side of a babe’s needs. Cases in point? The time when I was about 23, and kiss closed co-worker “Renee” in a storage room after an out-of-the-blue comment about her eyes. Ol’ girl responded to my kiss as if I weren’t really shy, and like we’d been talking on the phone for works. I’d never said more than hello (though I’d glanced sideways at that tail). The cute, blonde South Afrikaner traveling through the states w/ her girlfriend, whom, the night I met, I offered a starry night ride in my buddy’s droptop, remarking about nature’s beauty, and their U.S. travels, how courageous and admirable they were since they knew no one in the States. Before daybreak we’re passionately, kissing to beat the band, while her friend is back at their place chatting into the wee hours with some college guys from a resort a capella troupe. Best use of a borrowed ride I ever had, and I was leaving there early that morning. The much more recent instance when I forged an instant bond with a cougar named “Claire” whom I met outside a posh lounge, whose complexion and smile merit a Dove ad, and after casual conversation, she’s giving me a killer oral sex in the front seat of her car two and a half hours after we met. I remember the summer night a college friend of my brother and I, with a guy I knew, went to hear live comedy. The guy I knew ran into his male cousin, who was staying the weekend with a girlfriend and her friend, a short of odd-woman-out. After the show we all head to my boy’s cousin’s, we’re up talking, eventually the girls even began cooking. Well, the odd girl out in the house was part of a kitchen conversation I missed some of, but the gist was, “Have you ever gotten it on outdoors?”. She lets on that she did, once, behind some bushes. Well, this chick’s a hot Irish Bostonian, and now I know she has a spontaneous streak. A bit later, I asked her to walk to the beach with me. We looked at constellations and falling stars, talked for about two hours- I’m thinking some back at the house, if not all, have crashed (or left). We decide to go back, but not before some bonding and handholding. At the house, kissing. I end up staying the early morning in her bed. Had I not acted when I heard my cue… More importantly, “Linda”, a then-23 year old drop dead babe, that soured on me after we dated for more than a year, was much more frisky on the occasions when I took the lead.
The longer I went out with “Linda”, while she was sweet and all, more often than not, she had “something to do” on weekends. Didn’t seem all that stoked about me driving her home from her opthamologist’s assistant gig on Friday’s. Equally blasé on the receiving end of my “I’m in the neighborhood, mind if I come by” phone calls from near her crib. You know when she was warmest? When I romantically teased her on the phone, and the time I came by the job and we walked the stairwell instead of grabbing the elevator down, and I spontaneously kissed her on a landing. That girl was a completely different animal. But of course, it wasn’t she who was different, it was my attitude that elicited a more positive response. But she was human, and I can’t fault her for having feminine radar. She sensed my unease during the dates when we drove to do things out of town, and my nervousness about directions or punctuality, and her beauty, showed through. After too much of that, she cooled, and I eventually laid off for good.
At that point in my life, I still gave off something of a “you’re on a pedestal” vibe. Must have been creepy. Point is, nearly every instance when the object of my affection reacted with fire, I was in the moment, not self-occupied or tentative at all. Babes pick up on this like you’ve never seen (the radar thingy can either work for you or against you, your call).
You fellas might find this hard to swallow, but every evening you leave work, in our busier cities, out of all the hotties you eyeball when you/they are headed home, there are a goodly number who would sex you, or you could talk into some very intense kissing, that night. News flash boys- women enjoy sex too- thus the dashing blokes in the romance novels, the subscriptions to lingerie catalogues, and all those babies and expectant mothers you see. Has to be an exciting prospect though, not the skeezy thoughts of a nerd who resides on dating or porn sites and never takes life into his hands. Has to be a break from the norm. Women aren’t guys, just chomping at the bit to roll in the hay with whomever. That said, you should step to some of those lovely ladies leaving work, you’d be surprised.
Take your shot. Every time you leave your crib, leave the bed and that area neat so that of you score, you’re not embarassed to bring her there. Sounds like a small thing, but I cannot stress enough how walking out of a clean crib with a clean bathroom takes one more negative out of play.
Assume an attraction on her part if you’ve made that laughing, leaning, relaxed connection. If she’s suddenly asking a lot about you (which you’ll play off at first by teasing her about coming on to you), be clutch. People who go through life as if they belong, have doors opened for them.
Not to mention drawers.